blog F001: Butt Doctor

by Wayne Marshall

Headline: I want to be a doctor. Any kind but . . .

Not too long ago while visiting at the home eight of my grandchildren. One of the teenagers suggested that I should ask my exceptionally bright five-year-old granddaughter (number 7 on the roster of 8) what she would like to be would she grew up. This young lady and her even younger sister play together a lot. And they are smart. I’ve seen them working on 300-piece puzzles when they were 3 to 5 years old.

I also knew that one of their favorite games was to “play doctor” with each other. (Whatever that means, I don’t know.) Of course, II didn’t ask them how they had learned to play doctor or what it entailed. But thinking back to my early TV watching days when Art Linkletter’s television program, “Kids Say the Darndest Things” was on the air, I was sure the answer would be funny.

So, I asked the question, “honey, what would you like to be when you grow up?” She quickly replied, “well, I want to be a doctor. Any kind. Except not a butt doctor.” I immediately laughed but then I thought to myself, “what did she mean by this?”

Maybe she could think a little bit deeper than I assumed her young age would suggest. Maybe she meant that she didn’t want to work around people who were a — holes? Or was it truly the rectal sphincters themselves which he she trying to avoid in her doctor’s practice. Either way, it appeared her youthful naivete and sharp mind had generated a nugget of truth. While it may not be possible to avoid people who may manifest the characteristics of the first definition, I’m sure going into a bit less demanding — or at least less smelly career might just allow her to experience fewer offensive odors and must look at things she would just rather not see!

I guess we’ll just have to wait and see what happens in the end . . .